Daddy Issues

Father's day...where to begin??? For a lot of people Father's day is a happy day that they spend honoring and hanging out with their #1 Dad. For others it can be a really sad day...some have lost their fathers, some have never met theirs, and others are estranged. For me it's the latter, and sadly it's a common tale. Parents divorce...Dad remarries younger woman...Dads new wife doesn't get along with children...Dad chooses new family over old one. The purpose of this post is not to bash my dad...I still love him and have forgiven him for his shortcomings. The purpose is to share what I've learned from it... "At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life." Because I am a "fixer" I spent many years fighting for our relationship, shed many tears, and endured  lots of heartbreak then...it hit me! If he wasn't fighting for me or our relationship, and if I wasn't important enough to him for him to fight for then what was I fighting for really? So, I just stopped fighting and prayed for peace and the ability to forgive. I got it...eventually. And for the first time in my life I learned to just let it go. That doesn't mean that I don't still get sad about it, but I have accepted that it is what it is. And the situation with my father forever changed me and how I handle my other relationships whether it be friends or family.   If a relationship of any kind is more trouble than it's worth, or if the person/people are constantly causing strife or drama in my life...I cut them loose! Basically if you aren't bringing anything to the table and I'm the one doing all the giving and loving...I don't need you in my life. It doesnt mean that I stop loving or caring about them, but I am determined to never let anyone steal my joy ever again. To get up each morning with the resolve to be happy…is to set our own conditions to the events of each day. To do this is to condition circumstances instead of being conditioned by them.--Ralph Waldo Emerson